sad.

So yesterday I stayed up with you until 2am my time just texting with you because I knew you were stressed and I was hoping to make you feel a bit better. I actually had wanted to skype but the minute I noticed you were upset I changed my mind and decided not to bring it up. I didn't want to make you more upset with tears.

I feel like I'm really selfish. Like, all the time. For most of the conversation it felt like I just kept saying "I'm sorry I can't make you feel better" or "I'm sorry that lifes being a bitch right now" even though you're the one who's stressed out and I didn't want to take away from your venting time.

This is the worst blogpost I have ever seen but hopefully it somewhat describes my brain better because sometimes I just don't know how it works.

I feel like I'm holding you back. You have all these amazing plans and ideas (even if you can't see it that way) and sometimes I think having me be far away isn't helping the situation. It just makes us both frustrated and sad, and I definitely don't want to make you feel that way.

Sometimes I think it would be better for you if we just broke up, that way you would have one less worry to deal with, and then maybe you could find a girl where you are who your parents actually like and will make you eternally happy.